I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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