God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
