I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
