I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize