i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
