How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
