YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
