I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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