Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
