I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
