you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize