Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
