she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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