i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't put those talents on a resume
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
