I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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