Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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