and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
