**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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