Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
