I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
