I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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