My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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