I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
