I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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