so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
