Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
