I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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