i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize