I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Holy sore nipples Batman
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize