his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
