i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
