At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
