He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
