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• (949): View more from California

  Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?

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• (310): View more from California

  LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

  (310): View more from California

  And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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• (650): View more from California

  You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I have the starring role in a literal shit show.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.

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• (951): View more from California

  you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  The car smells like weed is an understatement.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?

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