I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
