I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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