I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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