you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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