I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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