Can Purell be used as lube?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
