why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
