Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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