Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
