just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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