Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
