I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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