dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
