My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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