Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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