Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize