at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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