Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
