It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
