I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Farmville is her only friend.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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